Enter The Tekken
by Dobokoyuramon
Summary: The Tekken fighters hang out before the Zaibatsu Tournament. Very stupid, written in my spare time. Eddy/Nina/Paul/Lei bashing. I'll continue if peeps like it. Doubtful.


            [We see Hwoarang run up some stairs and open a door to a room where most of the Tekken fighters are gathered around a couch by the television.]

Hwoarang: I'm here!! [The group mumbles in annoyance. Hwoarang walks over and leans an arm on Kuma's head.] So what's up?

Kuma: Raaaaaaaaaaaaagh….

Yoshimitsu: Quiet, we're watching sumo wrestling. My favorite!

Law: I wanted to watch Twilight Zone!! Wa!

Paul: [Folds arms] This is stupid! I could take 'em ALL!

Yoshimitsu: You couldn't even take Heihachi.

Lee: [Laughs]

Heihachi: Hey!

Jin: Hey, shut up, you guys. We're only watching it because Ganryu's been bitching about it for the past three weeks.

Hwoarang: Ganryu? Since when do we listen to Ganryu? He's not even here! [Reaches into Jin's bag of chips]

Ling: He's on T.V.! [Points]

T.V.: Live, from the national Sumo Wrestling Tokyo Tournament, we bring you our first two contestants! On the left, we have the renowned, the famous, the unstoppable Ganryu!!!! [The voice echoes on his name]

Yoshimistsu, Hwoarang, and King: Boooo!!

Jin: Sh! 

T.V.: [Shows Ganryu stomping around and yelling to the crowd] And on the right, we have a wrestler who is new to the game. From the heart of Tokyo Japan, welcome Gon to the ring!

Yoshimitsu: [Chokes on a hotdog that he's suddenly eating] GON?

GON: Raaaaaah!! 

T.V.: Ichi, ni, san, FIGHT! [Gon immediately charges forward. Ganryu laughs at the sight of the little dinosaur, that is, until Gon makes contact and the sumo wrestler and sends him flying into the wall. He then jumps onto his stomach and drives his teeth into Ganryu's face. Men rush to the scene to pry him away. The camera shuts off, accompanied by a little "technical difficulties" sign.]

Jin: Hm. I'll be damned.

Lee: [Laughs]

Hwoarang: Yoink! [Grabs the remote from Jin]

King: Hey, Jin was gonna give it to me!

Julia: Wait, I haven't got to watch what I want all day!

Yoshimitsu: Don't change it!

[Yoshimitsu, Julia, and King all tackle Hwoarang]

Hwoarang: No!!! Sensei, help me!

Baek: [Is sitting in the corner, asleep]

Hwoarang: Damn it!!

Yoshimitsu: Give it!!

Julia: Hey, I got his wallet!

Hwoarang: Stay out of my pants!!

King: I got a watch!

Hwoarang: That's it, get OFF! Get off, or I'll page Bryan!!

[His attackers leap away from him] 

Lei: [Jumps up off the couch and pulls out a gun] You can call him just like that? Do it!

Hwoarang: [Snatches his wallet and watch back.] Okay. [Pages Bryan]

Byan: [Comes through the door, rears back, and hurls his fist into Lei's face. Lei's head seems to implode as he's hurled into the wall and loses every ounce of blood instantly onto the floor. Bryan grabs a handful of chips and walks back out the door.]

Lee: [Laughs]

Hwoarang: [Looks at Lei's body] Dumbass. 

Jin: How in hell did you get Bryan on your side, Hwo?

Hwoarang: Well, I…hm…

[Flashback]

Hwoarang: [Walking along the street and runs into Bryan.] Who are you?

Bryan: Bryan Fury.

Hwoarang: Yeah, that's cool. Wanna be on my side?

Bryan: Yeah, okay.

[End flashback]

Jin: Wait wait wait, you just walk up to this guy and say, 'hey wanna be on my _side_'? You'd sound like and ass!

Hwoarang: Okay, so maybe that didn't happen.

Yoshimitsu: What _did_ happen?

Hwoarang: I don't remember, okay? [Changes the channel]

T.V.: [Voice 1] Captain, we're being hailed. [Voice 2] Fire one!

Yoshimitsu: Star Trek!

Hwoarang: [Changes the Channel] 

T.V.: Battle bots, two robots fighting to the de-

Hwoarang: Rrg. [Changes the channel]

T.V.: -Gackt, the newest pop artist in Japa-

Hwoarang: Whatever. [Tosses the remote to Lee]

Lee: [Laughs and changes the channel]

Julia: [Stumbles and falls onto the couch on top of Nina] Whoops!

Lee: [Laughs]

Jin: Will someone shut him up?

Nina: Get off me, slut!

Julia: Shut up, bitch! [Julia and Anna pound the hell out of her]

Lee: [Laughs]

Jin: Aaagh!

Michelle: [Walks into the room with a giant plate of cookies] I made cookies!

[Everyone turns and looks at her]

Kazuya: Weren't you supposed to have been missing?

Michelle: [Thinks for a second] Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Kazuya: …Hey, I- [The other Tekkeneers are already gathered around her]

Hwoarang: Chew chew…I love cook…BLARGH!! [Spits] [Everyone else puts their cookie back] These taste like shit!

Michelle: They're potato cookies!

Everyone collectively, even Michelle for some reason: Yuck.

Kuma: [Swipes at the cookies]

Lee: [Laughs]

Jin: Lee, if you do that laugh one more time, we'll call Bryan back here!

Lee: [Stops] Bryan? [Waits for a second, then laughs like Bryan, causing everyone to retreat in horror]

Paul: I could take you! [Shakes a fist at Lee from behind the couch]

Kuma: [Roars in abhorrence for Paul]

Heihachi: Let's order a pizza.

Wang: I want anchovies!

Ling: Gross, I want chili peppers!

Law: Beef jerky!!

Jin: [Holds his hand over the speaker of the phone] Quiet. I'll order twelve pizzas with everything.

Paul: No you don't! You'll order what I want!

[Paul is ignored]

Eddy: [Walks out of the kitchen] I took a nap in the kitchen. [Starts doing his frikin' gay dancing]

Bryan: [Come in and pulls his fist back before slamming it down onto Eddy. Eddy hits the ground with a hideous bounce, echoing the shatter of his mauled and crumbled bones. Bryan nods in satisfaction and takes a cookie before walking out. There's a sudden choking sound behind the door and Bryan storms back through the door. He rips Michelle's head off and hurls her body into the oven, turning it on to full blast in one fluid motion. He then grabs some more chips and leaves.]

Lei: [Wakes up] What's going on? [Gets kicked in the face by Law and dies]

[The doorbell rings]

Jin: [Answers the door and takes the pizzas] Foods here.

[Jin is suddenly swarmed to a ridiculous extent, left curled up on the ground, covered with empty boxes]

Hwoarang: Alright, everything rules! [Takes a bite]

Paul: Everything, huh? Where's the gasoline?!

[Julia and Anna are enjoying their pizza on the couch beside a giant pile of gore where Nina once was]

Julia: What time does the tournament start? We should be there an hour early to train.

Hwoarang: Starts at ten. 

King: We should leave soon. [Looks at watch…which he doesn't have]

Paul: It's gonna be fun beating all of you! [Laughs hysterically at his 'joke']

Ling: Oh yeah? What makes you so sure you'll win?

Paul: I won the last tournament!!

Law: You lie!

Jin: Yeah, you stupid jerk! [Jumps up with pizza grease dripping off him] I won that tournament!

Hwoarang: Actually, my ending was the ONLY ending that even suggested who won. I had the trophy, and you were like, running from-

Jin: Shut up, Hwo! [Elbows him]

King: Either way, Paul didn't win!

Kumo: Raa!

Paul: [Scowls] Gee, Jin, you and your boyfriend sure have things all figured out, dontcha?

Jin: [Looks at Hwoarang] Hwoarang?

Hwoarang: Already on it. *beep beep click*

Paul: Huh?

[Bryan comes through the door]

Paul: Ah!! [Looks around and grabs him motorcycle hemlet, putting it on] Aha! [Smirks at the android]

Bryan: [Rolls his eyes and drills his fist into Pauls helmet, shattering the glass so far in that it cuts his head into small chunks. Bryan grabs a handful of chips and leaves.]

Kuma: [Cheers]

Hwoarang: And that settles that.

Anna: What are we gonna tell the tournament masters when they ask what happened to the other members? 

Kazuya: Lie.

Yoshimitsu: Sounds good to me.

King: [Looks at his watch again, which he doesn't have] We better go.

Hwoarang: Shoot, and Bryan just left. Just let me page him again.

[The group walks out the door]

Ling: Tournament 4, here we come!

Lee: [Laughs]

[The room is left void of all life, aside from Baek who is still asleep in the corner]

Bryan: [Come into the room ready to kill someone] …Hwoarang? [Looks around and shrugs before sitting on the couch and snagging the bowl of chips. He then proceeds to change the channel to channel 456677.9 and starts eating.]

[End]  


End file.
